If Formula 1 were a playground

by Emma E Rouge on May 28th, 2009

On studying the track, they all had questions (credit:reviewingtheweek.blogspot.com)

"Twenty cars going round a track fast what’s interesting about that?"

Heard that before? That and the other arguments about why F1’s bad for the environment or something about third world debt, I tend to switch off at that point realising it’s a losing battle.

Chances are you'll know someone with this line of thought.  Do a good deed today and email them a link to here where I provide an insight for those folk lacking an understanding of the sport.

Yes, essentially the premise is 20 cars, a track and first one over the line wins, but as we all there know its so much more than that.  There's the engineering, the driving, the strategy and my personal favourite, the politics - it’s within this that the teams become entities and seemingly have their own personalities:

The headmaster keeps the students in order but has rumours spread about him

You can imagine them all now, angsty teenagers with no sense of self preservation and headmaster FIA watching over from his office quietly setting fire to McLaren’s A grade coursework claiming later it was never received and perhaps McLaren had simply ‘forgotten’ to hand it in and then going on to award the class top spot to Ferrari even though he can’t read.

Down in the playground, Ferrari struts about demanding Force India does his homework and stealing McLaren’s dinner money.  McLaren himself is a studious individual who applies himself to the task at hand and succeeds against all odds much to the annoyance of Ferrari, whilst Force India turns up each day on time with shiny shoes but lacks the support from home to really amount to anything special.

Renault on the other hand is a flamboyant young chap, an all rounder with a fiery temper but flashes of brilliance, tends to like dance music and the arch enemy of Torro Rosso a long haired guitar playing indie kid with a future in radio.  Renault also take charge of looking after the class hamster, Bernie.  BrawnGP manages to score top marks on every test and be cool at the same time, having survived calls of being a cheat earlier in the year, whilst Red Bull rips it up on the rugby pitch and attends cadet training at the weekend.

Toyota's recent conquests

Toyota would be the ladies man, and a hit with the all girls school down the road where he’d hang out at lunch time using Williams as his wingman.

And finally BMW, based on last season who cares, a good starter but easily forgettable come GCSE year and they would be the one nobody else can remember come the ten year reunion.