Silverstone developments hit trouble

by Red Andy on Jun 4th, 2010

Silverstone, Friday: Redevelopments at the Silverstone circuit have run into trouble in recent days, after the British Racing Drivers' Club realised that their new pit and paddock complex was being built in the wrong place.

The new facility, set to open in 2011, was set to be constructed in the area around Bridge corner, before someone at the circuit pointed out that this part of the track is to be bypassed by most international events since the opening of the new "Arena circuit" layout earlier this year.

Wrong: New developments at Silverstone

Progress on the new complex is already going well, with foundations being laid and the pit wall having already been completed. The realisation that all of this is in the wrong place is sure to be a blow to Silverstone's ambitions.

It has not yet been explained how such a catastrophic error could have happened, though the BRDC lounge's traditional cocktail (a measure of gin combined with a tenuous grasp of reality) may have played its part in the debacle.

"Oh, bugger," said BRDC President Damon Hill when informed of the news. "Clearly we will have to begin rectifying this issue right away. I fully intend to spend the next ten years drawing up spurious plans for how this problem will be solved."

In other news, there was cause for slight celebration at Silverstone after the Northamptonshire circuit installed its first flushing toilet. Plans are already underway to connect the track's buildings to the National Grid, the BRDC having acknowledged that the previous method of self-generated power was not cost-effective. "Oiling the hamster's wheel every day was a time-consuming and costly activity," Hill revealed.

Do note folks, that these 'Runoff Area' news stories are completely fabricated and intended for your enjoyment. For more satirical news stories, read more Runoff Area articles here - or if you would rather read some actual and real news have a look at our Latest News Articles here - thank you very much!

Comments and Discussion

Steve

Hee hee, this is a good one Andy.

Also you should put the old stuff from 2007/early 2008 in the archives again. that stuff was funny as. like the one with "Red Bull to be sponsored by Jaws" when they first had the anvil engine cover. :) Please tell me you still have them sitting on your computer somewhere...

- posted on 8th June 2010 at 4:26 am
Red Andy

Steve, it's not a bad idea. I will see what I can do!

- posted on 9th June 2010 at 1:54 pm

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