Caption it! ...and win a copy of F1 2010

OK Michael, Nico hit a 4.7 on the belchometer, your turn..

Schumi: "I am the Badger".

Nico: No you're not..

well, i've always been able to learn new tracks quickly, and this new battering ram the team have fitted to the car will help me find my old form

Now then, young man; some respect please - I can remember when all this were fields . . .

Nico - "As 'far' as I am seeing now..Michael did not do that well"
Schumi (looking away from Nico.. Sighting his eyes ahead!) : " The 'car' did not suit my driving style this year! But as I see farther than you Nico.. Look out for me next season I shall be 'half' a second 'ahead' of you !

I've been around the world, but never thought this upscale circus would come to a place that cant' even seat driver interviewees..

yes, now then, the first thing I'd like to point out, is that I cannot see a bloody thing . . .

Oh look! I see 8th title ! Look out for me in 2011..

Comeback? I never said I would not be back.. Its my passion and that is what I am here for!

- I can see the pub from here !

" Oh yes, that incident with Rubens was really rather funny !

You see, just before that race, Rubens had told me that he was F1's only stand-up comedian; - which was still three more than Germany ! - of course, I didn't understand this atall, because it is illogical !

- And then halfway through the race, as we were side by side coming onto the straight;

- I got it . . . "

I've still got a few hundred thousand red "1997 World Champion" t-shirts if Mercedes white doesn't suit you...

David - "So how far in front of you will Nico be come the end of Lap 1?"

Nico was sick and tired of Michael always getting first go on the Mercedes GP karaoke machine....

Schumi sees that his AI driver is winning the race in F1-2010 on the TV and is told that the game is famously full of serious bugs

Schumacher remained composed as BBC make up department applied his lipstick, Nico just couldn't decide which shade to go for

Yes of course I'm taking this interview seriously, oh look at that little bunny over there!

Would you like a bite of my mars bar?

(a bit long for a caption but here we go)

*SINGS*
And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Yes it was my way

"I'm very proud to have won this award for driver with the tightest trousers. Now I'd like to take this opportunity to laugh at Nico, who's trouser tightness fails in comparison."

NIco is not overly impressed of Micheals singing tribute to Stevie Wonder, "I just called to say I beat you and i mean it from the bottom of my Mercedes Benz".

»
Hey, let's sing for our team now, Mercedes GP Petronas.
"Glory Glory Mercedes GP"

This is a shout out to my Brother Ralf, who unfortunately couldn't join us today since he ran out of talent.

Micheal says : well people, as You perhaps know, from now on the mercandising with 'number 3" are a bit cheaper that the "number 4" T-shirts.
This is because You all gave me fantastic support in the first year of my return to Formula 1.
It was a superb feeling to get that much response from all of You...

And Nico thinks : "Well, nobody knows yer but You should have said "my first and at the same time last year. And Willy Weber did not give You the newspapers and letters with the not so possitive response"

Schumacher : " So what you're saying is that in the PS3 F1 2010 game, I can do a solo race so I'll win ALL the time??"

Know some websites have touched on it but its started to bother me, The BBC should ditch Brundle's idiot sidekick. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110758598952838 .... Legard out!

Schumi: Hello, and thanks for coming out here today just to see me. I brought Nico with me too.

Nico : Always the blabla about how good the track is....
But I wish FIA would have cancelled this race untill next year looking at the venue and the hotel where we have to stay. The track itself is somewhat OK, but everything else ....

Yes Nico is better looking than me, he is a better driver than me, his dad is my All time favourite racing driver!.......There i've said it in public....now can someone please dislodge the superglue that he put on my shades!

"Look Nico, I can spit my dummy out better than anyone on the grid; look, it's still going!"

BOGIES!!!!! Ha beat that nico....

David : So what were your thoughts before you came into this season?
Schumi : Not much david, i just wanted to have some fun, I am driving around just to keep my feet well greased.

Thinking back now i do recall when i wore a red suit and drove a red car and winning races was my thing.(And that team is just over there in the distance) Now i'm finding it much harder to fit in these new silver overalls and that very small silver car. I can't see myself winning ever again as i find it difficult to turn the steering wheel these days. So i think i should let Nico become number 1 driver and i should hang my helmet up high and walk away.

David: So Michael, there are a lot of shareholders here, can you explain what exactly they have spent their money on this year?

Schumi: Erm... good question, me again I hope!

Schuey :- "David........ do you think this tent would fall down if I kicked that pillar down ? .... I reckon it would"

D. Croft :- "Michael, fancy a game of darts down the pub after this lot's over ???"

Where is my horse?

Ooh, is that Ferrari over there? Sorry lads, must have been a terrible mistake... the red suits me much better. Goodbye, good luck Nico... you'll need it... *grimaces*

haha Good idea
@RandomLani x

Ummm Schuey does this mic smell funny to you???

(Nico is thinking while Michael is saying his side of things )YA YA YA Michael...DAT IS ZE VAY VE USED TO DO THINGS....VEN YOU VERE ZE TEAM.....NOW VEN DID HE SAY HE VOULD RETIRE AND STOP HOGGING ZE MIC

Michael: '....and then I woke up and realised that it wasn't just a bad dream, that I was driving for Mercedes, that Rosberg was faster and that Bernie really did think it was a good idea to have a GP on a building site in Korea. Because, I mean...who'd have thought it , eh?'

Schumi, singing: " Brazil, when stars were entertaining June,
We stood beneath an amber moon
And softly murmured someday soon...
We kissed and clung together..."

Rosberg: "Don't think that'll work, Rubens still won't forgive you. "

At the anual F1 spelling bee Nico looks away in disappontment as his team mate stumbles badly on a mis-spelling of 'fduct'

At the annual F1 Karaoke, Nico looks for exit in a panic as it becomes apparent that Michael has mastered Cher's back catalogue and will be employing the use of auto-tune. Again.

As Michael describes the rivalry, jealousy and competitiveness that exists between team mates , Nico decides that he will have fish fingers for his tea.

Nico can barely contain his excitement as Michael announces the winner of the 'prettiest German boy in a white shirt in F1' competition.

David Croft had to stand in for Nico, who was sulking cos Michael *always* got to be Stevie Wonder in their 'Ebony and Ivory' karaoke performances.

What times the next bus heading back to your retirement home showing up?

Crofty: Tell us about your best win.
Schumacher: Well, I think I should tell you about them all! The first...
Rosberg: Not this again!

"So Michael, will you be hoping Nico's wheel comes off again?" asks Croft

Croft: "So do you like the new Mercedes open wardrobe design for you and Nico?"

Schumacher: "Maybe if I will take my sunglasses off first, I could answer with some degree of accuracy to that question."

Croft: "Michael, my arms getting tired and Nico is starting to look very bored. Do you think we could let him have his say now?"

croft: so what your saying is we're doing it all wrong to be cool and win the formula 1 we need to have both hands in the pockets and drive with the skin of your teeth ?

Yes, it does look like rain soon but if you buy one of my T-Shirts, it will likely stay dry for the cars on track later

Look Mr. I did it at Korea ! Aren't I d ''Rainmeister' ?

Micheal: Nico who?

You know... i dont think the 3 of us are going to need our sunglasses today.

Crofty: "So Michael, why are you still wearing your sunglasses?"

Michael: "I signed up for a three year contract, and I'm not going to take them off now..."

Thanks for all the comments folks - some great captions there - winner will be announced this evening...

Crofty: Any plans during the off season?
Michael: I thought about opening a car boot stall, but Nico beat me to that as well...

MS . . .

Well, thank you, Crofty, for the @5LiveF1 Listeners "Non-Comeback of the Year" Award!

I'd like to thank my parents, my team-mate and Mercedes for their parts in my lack-lustre performance this year.

Ferrari, McLaren and Red Bull had their part to play, too - but let's not talk about them.

. . . smug-drone . . . smug-drone . . .

Schumacher: Sunglasses. Yes, because the white hurts my eyes. I'm used to seeing red most of the time.

Schumacher, Rosberg and Croft in Unison,

"Levi's, because we're worth it"

Mark Smith is the winner "Crofty: Any plans during the off season?
Michael: I thought about opening a car boot stall, but Nico beat me to that as well..."
Well done Mark, you've been emailed!