London, Wednesday: An exclusive interview with F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone has revealed that his tendency to make controversial and potentially offensive remarks has been exacerbated by the state of his hair.
The commercial director of Formula One, 128, told a London newspaper that the length of his fringe often obscured his vision, and prevented him from seeing reporters or dictaphones in the room to capture his most controversial statements.
Ecclestone got into trouble last year for voicing his admiration for Adolf Hitler, and has recently been criticised for claiming that Lewis Hamilton’s decision to part company with his father-manager Anthony would be “a monkey off [Hamilton’s] back.”
“The thing is that, at my age, often I’ll forget who’s in the room once I’ve started speaking,” Ecclestone said. “And this haircut doesn’t help – it means that I can’t see very clearly; sometimes I forget that there’s someone listening, writing down everything I say, and I let my guard down and say something stupid.”
Previous theories on Ecclestone’s often outlandish remarks had centred on his rumoured constant craving for publicity, but the billionaire refuted these accusations: “If I wanted to attract the attention of the media, I’d do something really crazy, like get caught in a hotel room full of hookers. No, this is just plain and simple senility catching up with me.”
Ecclestone then went on to elaborate on his plans to stage a Grand Prix in Manhattan.
With thanks to Ciaran for the idea, and Norbert for (at least) one of the jokes…