Ah, January – a new year begins and the 2018 Formula 1 season isn’t far away. Before we get caught up in pre-season rumour and testing time sheets, let’s take a look at some of the new year’s resolutions across the paddock.
Felipe Massa – Stay retired and enjoy it. Write a book about it.
Lewis Hamilton – Delete every app on phone except for LinkedIn.
Sergio Perez & Esteban Ocon – If you need to hit another car, aim for cars that aren’t pink.
Kevin Magnussen – Try to do nice things for Nico Hulkenberg. Think up some better, cleverer retorts
Nico Hulkenberg – Don’t take advice from Kevin Magnussen.
Carlos Sainz – Never have less than 3mm of wonderful, wonderful stubble.
Brendon Hartley – Go one race weekend without a grid penalty.
Kimi Raikkonen – Ask Lewis to teach him how to ‘dab’ and put it on Instagram.
Romain Grosjean – Put a quid in the jar every time you complain about brakes
Paul di Resta – Sabotage Williams’ catering, increasing chances of race appearances.
Daniil Kvyat – Apply for work experience as a submarine projectile technician.
Sebastian Vettel – Avoid bashing other cars, you get fewer points.
Fernando Alonso – Enjoy not having Honda power, but keep up the radio bantz.
Toro Rosso – Pick 2 good drivers and stick with them, everyone else manages it.
Mercedes – Give someone else a chance of beating you, now and then.
Williams – Whatever you give the amazingly fast pit crew, give the same to the designers.
Force India – Search the back of the sofa, old trouser pockets and keep pushing to get into the top 3, even with the limited budget.
Ferrari – Keep pushing, have less tantrums.
