Refuelling is back! Oh no wait, false alarm.
In recent fan surveys (because F1 is broken, haven’t you heard?) some of the feedback has yearned for the good old days of refuelling.
This would mean the possibility of drivers maxing out, rather than nursing, their tyres, putting in low weight banzai laps and generally letting the drivers drive the wheels off their cars – should they choose.
Apparently this is completely unacceptable to F1 for several reasons. Firstly, fuel is dangerous – and danger is not something you want around in motorsport at all. Also, lumping the fuelling rigs around and paying an employee to look after it will “cost money”.
So after consideration yet again by the teams, the most vocal of which are those with the most efficient engines (completely coincidentally), the fans have been told to go away and come back with different feedback again. So expect this topic to come up around mid season.
Max Attacks The Slopes
Teenager Max Verstappen took his mates out in the ski resort of Kitzbuhel recently, under the auspices of some promotional work.
This being Austria and not France, the Red Bull team were able to find the sole garage selling snow chains that wasn’t on a 6 hour lunch break, and kit the car out.
This was supplemented with a shovel, some de-icer and a language phrase book for enlisting a grumpy local, tired of helping ill-prepared tourists, for assistance.
Happily, English speaking Helmut Marko was available despite not being local – he just happens to be grumpy all year round.
Bleary eyed Max told reporters, 3pm the following day, still reeking of Jaeger bombs;
“Yeah, my friend was like I bet you can’t do a donut in that thing and do this tequila slammer at the same time dude! I was like dude like totally just watch me yeah…. I’m not sure what happened after that, but I think I left the car in Dietrich’s swimming pool with a penis drawn on the side….oh god don’t tell him I said that! I’m grounded aren’t I?”
Villeneuve Quits Again
1997 F1 world champion Jacques Villeneuve as quit the Formula E Venturi team, owned by actor Leonardo DiCaprio, due to a disagreement with the team.
Journalists were quick to point the finger at Leonardo DiCaprio, who wanted to film a cringe-filled promo shoot with him holding the dainty Canadian aloft at the front of a yacht in Monaco, but apparently this wasn’t a problem for Jacques, who even suggested he could dye his hair blonde and do some singing again.
The former F1 and Indy Car champion was actually more angry about the direction and state of motorsport in general; that young drivers were more concerned about image and their hair, the idea of a series using electric power instead of fuel was a joke, and most commentators talked utter sensationalist rubbish to get attention.
Expect to seem him in a rival Formula E team, or on Canadian TV as an F1 pundit, or solo artist soon.