Paris, Thursday: The Grand Prix Drivers’ Association will meet over the next few days to plan a course of action over the FIA’s recent hike of superlicence prices, with a range of potential activities ranging from “quietly paying up and pretending the whole thing never happened” to “full-blown revolution.”

Toothless: Representation of proposed GPDA action
Toothless: Representation of proposed GPDA action

GPDA director Mark Webber, speaking from his cryogenic quackery chamber in Australia, told journalists: “The drivers will not stand for the ridiculous and blatant profiteering of the FIA, which is why we are considering strike action during the Australian Grand Prix in March. Also it’ll give me a bit more time for my leg to get better, as the broken bone has healed but for some reason I’ve contracted frostbite.

“Drivers of the world, unite!” he continued. “You have nothing to lose but your chains!

“And some of your salary,” Webber added. “And possibly some vital championship points. And perhaps your jobs.”

A contrasting view is offered by another high-ranking GPDA member, McLaren test driver Pedro de la Rosa, suggested that another form of protest could instead be used. “We can look for other, less disruptive ways of expressing our problem with the FIA and its current fee structure,” the Spaniard said. Rumours indicate that de la Rosa’s suggestion of symbolically dumping a caseload of superlicences in the Albert Park lake at the Australian Grand Prix was rejected by other drivers.

The FIA have so far stood their ground on the issue, with Bernie Ecclestone indicating that he has agreed with the sport’s governing body to avoid broadcasting the drivers’ actions. “The revolution will not be televised,” he said, “unless someone wants to buy the broadcasting rights, of course. Then it’s all yours.” Max Mosley has been reported to have responded to the driver’s rallying calls with a simple statement: “Let them eat cake,” though most commentators have agreed that this seems to be an expression of cluelessness rather than anything else.

GPDA non-members Lewis Hamilton and Kimi Raikkonen have reportedly already paid for their superlicences, with Webber denouncing them as “blacklegs” in his interview earlier today.