Monte Carlo, Saturday: Anthony Hamilton, father, manager and parasitic hanger-on to world champion Lewis Hamilton, has today offered pointers to John Button, father of current world championship leader Jenson, on where he feels the former rallycross driver is going wrong in dealing with the extreme pressure of being the parent of a racing driver.

Advisor: F1 barnacle Anthony Hamilton
Advisor: F1 barnacle Anthony Hamilton

“John has been a figure in Jenson’s career for all his life,” Anthony said, having collared an unsuspecting journalist and proceeded to talk at him in the Monaco Grand Prix paddock this weekend. “But clearly there are some things he hasn’t picked up on, which I suppose is only natural given that he hasn’t had the added pressure of his son being at the front of the grid before.”

Hamilton Sr., nicknamed “Three Jobs” after doubtful claims that he personally funded his son’s racing career rather than the accepted wisdom that McLaren may have had a hand in bankrolling the British driver, pointed out that Button’s father was not doing enough to unnecessarily get himself on television.

“It’s all very well sitting in the garage and cheering when Jenson wins,” Anthony said, “but what about bothering hard-working F1 people with daft questions, sweating anxiously whenever there’s a camera on you and generally being a right pain in the arse? John really needs to work on this if he wants to rise to the top as an F1 dad.”

Hamilton also poured scorn on Button’s choice of wardrobe, which includes an array of pink shirts: “I can see where he’s going, trying to get attention drawn to himself with his bizarre fashion sense, though if he was doing it properly he’d be loud enough that it wouldn’t matter what he was wearing, people would have to listen to him.”

Three-time world champion Nelson Piquet has taken a less “hands-on” approach to handling his son’s F1 exploits, though Hamilton was quick to ask, “What does he know about F1 anyway?”

With thanks to Norbert for inspiration.