Podium or Pits is Badger’s weekly guide to what’s hot and what’s not in Formula One. Stay tuned for all matters F1, including a big week for Tamara, F1 in Cyprus (or not), exciting tents, Mothering Sunday and F1 in school.

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This has to be a podium, no question – Manna from heaven, scratching an itch, a cold drink on a hot day. All of these admittedly fantastic things simply don’t compare to the depth, breadth and sheer brilliance of the Ecclestone stories floating around this week. Brace yourselves POP readers, brace yourselves.

Firstly, it’s been a big week for Tamara Ecclestone. Essentially, an Australian MP, while being interviewed, called Tamara a “bogan”, which is apparently a word meaning “chav”. Now, far be it from POP to take his side, but it appears he’s actually watched her TV series, so let’s let him do the talking:

She sets out to prove that she isn’t a pointless, quite spoilt, really stupid, vacuous empty human being. Her attempt is not entirely successful. She is shown supervising the refurbishment of her £45 million home in London, which includes commissioning a £1million bathtub carved from Mexican crystal, an elevator for her Ferrari, her own nightclub, a bowling alley with crystal studded balls, an underground swimming pool complex, and a spa and massage parlour for her five dogs.”

Of course she has her own daily massage, and her busy day includes taking the dogs to Harrods to have their hair sprayed and their nails painted. The day is not complete without a private plane to fly her across the Channel to an exclusive party in Europe, but she cracks it when her stockbroker boyfriend meets a group which includes a former girlfriend and she leaves the party in a huff.”

Take that, Tamara.

Secondly, The Daily Mail are also reporting that it turns out her boyfriend has a shady past. Oh, and also isn’t a stockbroker.

Seriously, we don’t know what POP would do without the Ecclestones. Be about half as long, probably.

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See, it could be worse – One of POP’s favourite reads is the Cyprus Mail. We just can’t get enough of it. And now it turns out that they’ve run an F1 story – brilliant.

Essentially, none of the broadcasters can afford to show F1 due to the prohibitive cost, but do hope to pick it up half way through the season when it might be a bit cheaper… It makes the furore in this country about having two broadcasters seem a bit silly, doesn’t it?

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Two storey tents? Is that a thing?  The story is fairly by the by – there are new hospitality areas at the Malaysian Grand Prix apparently – but it’s the fact the tents are two storey that really caught POP’s eye. AMAZING.

No tiny stoves and damp ground sheets for these guys. Oh no. It’s all two storey tents, champagne and mega tent caviar. Yeah, that’s a thing.

We at Badger want one.

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IT WAS THE SAME BLOODY DAY – Yes, Nicole Scherzinger did spend Mothering Sunday with Lewis Hamilton’s Mum. This occured, we might speculate, because that’s when the Australian Grand Prix was, rather than some secret-overarching-really-meaningful-plan.

Also, whoever wrote it for the Metro had clearly not watched any of the post-race coverage, as evidenced by:

As he [Lewis Hamilton] frolicked on the podium alongside winner Jenson Button and Sebastian Vettel, he didn’t seem too disheartened about not taking the top spot.

Come on chaps. At least try.

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Ah, another of POP’s favourite reads – Don’t you wish lessons in primary school involved playing F1 computer games? Why yes, yes we do. And, according to the Leamington Courier, it turns out they do when Codemasters come to your school.

POP’s favourite part of the article comes from Rachael, a year six pupil, who spoke eloquently for Felipe Massa when she said, “It was brilliant racing along that life-like track. That is, until I crashed.”