Milton Keynes, Thursday: The Red Bull F1 teams have jointly announced that their groundbreaking “Energy Station” motorhome will feature a revolving front door from the Hungarian Grand Prix onwards, in order to cope with the rapid personnel changes the team has been undergoing recently.
Following the announcement that French driver Sebastien Bourdais is to be dropped from the STR team for the horrendous crime of “being the wrong Seb,” Red Bull have revealed that a desire for greater efficiency is behind the decision.
“Our team seems to see more and more individuals entering and leaving the team at ever-decreasing intervals,” Red Bull boss Dietrich Mateschitz told journalists earlier today. “We have been plagued in the past with employees arriving and departing our motorhome, and ending up stuck in a queue as they try and filter through our previous door system. With a view to resolving this, we have decided to install a revolving door in the front of the Energy Station for the next Grand Prix and into the future.”
An added advantage of the new system, Mateschitz says, is that it will now be possible for new employees to walk into the motorhome and then walk straight out again, entering and leaving the team without ever having to move out of the doorway. “This will allow us to achieve even greater heights of employee turnover.”
A model of the new door was demonstrated in front of journalists by Jaime Alguersuari, who is expected to replace Bourdais at Toro Rosso in Hungary. “As you can see, Jaime enters the door,” Mateschitz explained, as Alguersuari performed the requisite actions, “gets fired by Franz Tost after a disappointing couple of races, then leaves again.”
STR have welcomed the news, team principal Franz Tost declaring that it “allowed us to focus on blaming our drivers for the shortcomings of a car we can’t be arsed to improve, which is clearly a positive step.”