No prizes for guessing the winner of the 2013 United States Grand Prix. Someone else will have to start winning soon before everyone thinks that the German / Austrian national anthem combo is simply obligatory when someone wins a race. It isn’t, but Bizet’s Carmen is always a welcome sound (for the record, Bizet was French).

I don’t need to tell you what sort of a start Mark Webber had. A classic start. Let’s hope he gets it right at Brazil next weekend.

Whoah dude! Safety car on lap 1

It doesn’t look good if you lose control of your car on lap 1 and plough it into the wall so badly you need a safety car. Luckily for F1 supply teacher driver Heikki Kovalainen, it wasn’t him but instead it was piano playing and occasional bar brawler Adrian Sutil! Out came the safety car for a few laps as Sutil’s car was cleared away (sadly those marshall brooms are not yet capable of clearing away embarrassment).

Do you know what the black and orange flag signifies? Georgie Thompson certainly wouldn’t. Anyway, you don’t see it very much, but it’s a flag to basically say your car is BROKEN please pit to sort it out, like, now. Maldonado had the privilege of being shown the black and orange flag as a result of a ropey looking front wing.

Lewis Hamilton did not sound like a happy bunny in the early section of the race. Manage this, manage that, look after this, look after that – phrases that are not naturally in Hamilton’s repertoire.

Valtteri Bottas had a fine race indeed, eventually finishing in 8th place. Overtake of the race undoubtedly goes to Bottas for his brave move on Gutierrez.

We saw Webber hunt down Grosjean in the final few laps but to no avail – and then Hulkenberg almost had Alonso in the last lap of the race. Alonso isn’t 2nd place in this year’s World Championship for nothing.

F1 Grand Prix of USA - Previews

Calling all JB fans – your favourite driver got one point. I know! ONE POINT! Result. Perez got 6 points #awkward.

“I Love You”

If your team made you a car that just won you your 8th consecutive race in a season then, yes, you too would declare your undying love for your team. Which is exactly what Vettel did as he took yet another win in 2013 (personally, I’ve stopped counting, but I’ve heard it’s rather a lot).

Vettel – “We have an incredible team spirit. Incredible, I’m so proud of you. I love you. YES! SHAKE AND BAKE!”

Gee whizz – the Results!

Driver Car Team Grid Fastest Lap Race Time
1 Sebastian Vettel 1 Red Bull 1 1:39.856 1:39:17.148 25
2 Romain Grosjean 8 Lotus 3 No time +00:06.284 18
3 Mark Webber 2 Red Bull 2 No time +00:08.396 15
4 Lewis Hamilton 10 Mercedes 5 No time +00:27.358 12
5 Fernando Alonso 3 Ferrari 6 No time +00:29.592 10
6 Nico Hulkenberg 11 Sauber 4 No time +00:30.400 8
7 Sergio Perez 6 McLaren 7 No time +00:46.692 6
8 Valtteri Bottas 17 Williams 9 No time +00:54.509 4
9 Nico Rosberg 9 Mercedes 12 No time +00:59.141 2
10 Jenson Button 5 McLaren 15 No time +01:17.278 1
11 Daniel Ricciardo 19 Toro Rosso 10 No time +01:21.004 0
12 Jean-Eric Vergne 18 Toro Rosso 14 No time +01:24.574 0
13 Felipe Massa 4 Ferrari 13 No time +01:26.914 0
14 Esteban Gutierrez 12 Sauber 20 No time +01:31.707 0
15 Heikki Kovalainen 7 Lotus 8 No time +01:35.063 0
16 Paul Di Resta 14 Force India 11 No time +01:36.853 0
17 Pastor Maldonado 16 Williams 17 No time lapped 0
18 Jules Bianchi 22 Marussia 19 No time lapped 0
19 Giedo van der Garde 21 Caterham 18 No time lapped 0
20 Charles Pic 20 Caterham 22 No time lapped 0
21 Max Chilton 23 Marussia 21 No time lapped 0
22 Adrian Sutil 15 Force India 16 No time retired, 0 laps 0