In recent years Canada has been a staple McLaren winning ground. Not so in 2013: McLaren took home … the Badger abacus says … that’s right, nul points. Those glaringly orange T-shirts (which the McLaren team rapidly change into when they win a race) must be gathering dust in a Woking cupboard somewhere, forgotten.

Credit: Red Bull Racing Media
Credit: Red Bull Racing Media

But the 2013 Canadian grand prix was all about one man: victorious Vettel, vanishing-off-into-the-distance Vettel and very-annoyingly-dominant Vettel. Putting aside a minor brush up against the wall of champions, Vettel was in another race for the entire 70 laps.

After yet another 2013 clean getaway off the starting grid, Vettel already began to pull away from the rest of the field, and then we all forgot about him entirely for the next 69 laps to focus on some great mid field scraps.

On lap 6 Sutil pirouetted in the middle of the track, but luckily ended up facing the right way at the end of the spin. Raikkonen headed backwards for most of the race after being told to save fuel – eventually finishing down in 9th. Around a third of the way through the race we were treated to a cracking scrap between Massa and Sutil. Sadly we didn’t get to hear any of the famous Massa-Rob Smedley pep talk radio messaging – an entertainment in itself. In other Sutil news, the Force India driver was handed a drive through penalty by the stewards for ignoring blue flags.

The race winner from Monaco, Nico Rosberg, managed to lose 2 places in the space of a couple of corners on lap 31. He ended a vaguely respectable 5th. Can’t win ’em all. Unless you’re Vettel, that is. Sergio Perez pulled off a bold move over Valtteri Bottas at the mid point – the latter’s 3rd place in qualifying translated into an uninspiring 14th on race day.

Mark Webber collided with the Caterham of Van der Garde, losing Webber a good chunk of his front wing and gaining Van der Garde a 10-second stop/go penalty from the stewards. A few laps later and Alonso got the better of Webber down the start-finish straight. It wasn’t long before Van der Garde was driving with his front wing under the car. Unconventional, yes, performance-enhancing? No. Needless to say he did not make it back to the pits.

“Pretty exciting” – said Ross Brawn as he was interviewed live by the BBC F1 team during a gaspingly exciting scrap between former team hates mates, Hamilton and Alonso … just at the moment Alonso got the better of Brawn’s driver Hamilton. BBC F1 coverage – the new bad luck token?

Gutiérrez ended his race in the tyre wall with a mere 3 laps to go, which rounded off a frankly dire race for the Sauber team (Hulkenberg retired 18 laps earlier).

And finally…

  • Is it just me, or does the chequered flag radio conversation between Red Bull team principal Christian Horner and Vettel sound exactly the same every time?
  • Flag of the Race: Blue.
  • Tyre Trophy of the Race: Paul Di Resta, who managed a record-breaking 57 laps on his Pirellis.
  • Quote of the Day: “I’ve never been so keen to get out of the car” – an upbeat Jenson Button.

Results and all that jazz

1 Sebastian Vettel 1 Red Bull 1 1:16.534 1:32:09.143 25
2 Fernando Alonso 3 Ferrari 6 1:16.203 +00:14.408 18
3 Lewis Hamilton 10 Mercedes 2 1:16.354 +00:15.942 15
4 Mark Webber 2 Red Bull 5 1:16.182 +00:25.731 12
5 Nico Rosberg 9 Mercedes 4 1:16.534 +01:09.725 10
6 Jean-Eric Vergne 18 Toro Rosso 7 1:17.909 lapped 8
7 Paul Di Resta 14 Force India 17 1:17.841 lapped 6
8 Felipe Massa 4 Ferrari 16 1:16.939 lapped 4
9 Kimi Raikkonen 7 Lotus 10 1:17.766 lapped 2
10 Adrian Sutil 15 Force India 8 1:17.694 lapped 1
11 Sergio Perez 6 McLaren 12 1:17.369 lapped 0
12 Jenson Button 5 McLaren 14 1:17.458 lapped 0
13 Romain Grosjean 8 Lotus 22 1:17.607 lapped 0
14 Valtteri Bottas 17 Williams 3 1:18.004 lapped 0
15 Daniel Ricciardo 19 Toro Rosso 11 1:18.257 lapped 0
16 Pastor Maldonado 16 Williams 13 1:18.105 lapped 0
17 Jules Bianchi 22 Marussia 19 1:18.873 lapped 0
18 Charles Pic 20 Caterham 18 1:19.380 lapped 0
19 Max Chilton 23 Marussia 20 1:19.566 lapped 0
20 Esteban Gutierrez 12 Sauber 15 1:19.478 retired, 63 laps 0
21 Nico Hulkenberg 11 Sauber 9 1:19.056 retired, 45 laps 0
22 Giedo van der Garde 21 Caterham 21 1:21.811 retired, 43 laps 0